The gym has been great for my body... mostly

I've been working out religiously for the last two years. And I look and feel great. Except my feet. My feet are in the worst shape they have ever been. I've got athlete's foot and a couple toenails with your standard locker room fungus. Now, they aren't hideous per se, but they aren't the cute feet I've had most of my life. Frankly, the hot six pack and not-so-cute feet look is a HUGE improvement over the 250 pound lumpy potato with cute feet look that I was sporting before.

So I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. This weekend, I finally wised up to his thing for feet. On our first date, he gave me a foot massage and tried to take off my socks before taking off my shirt. A week or so later, we were laying in bed when he asked me what my shoe size was. Someone is DEFINITELY paying attention to the little piggies.

The athlete's foot thing looks the worst, and is luckily the easiest to fix. I've known about it for about a year and half-assed treat it with foot spray whenever I remember. When I actually remember to do it all the time, it clears up in about a week.

The toenail fungus can be killed with prescription drugs that are really hard on your liver, but I'm very hard on my liver already with my high protein intake and alcoholism. Thanks to the internets, I found out that Listerine and Vick's VapoRub is just as effective thanks to the eucalyptus found in both products. Because toenails grow so slowly, it takes about a year to get your toenails completely back to normal.

I'm a romantic dope, but I really hope this one will be around to enjoy me feet once they are all cute again.